Dibs!
by CJ - Lady of Gryffindor
Summary: A blistering summer day finds Fred and George lazing on the sidewalk outside the shop. Enter Luna Lovegood, fresh from her last year at University. When both are attracted to her a war is about to begin. May the best twin win! T for minor naughty thoughts
1. Let The Battle Begin

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling. If it was mine, Fred, Hedwig and Tonks would never have died, George would marry Luna and there would have been a better last chapter that included some serious snogging between Harry and Ginny and a hell of a better epilogue than that piece of crap.

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A/N Just call this my little denial piece...because, you know...everyone who disliked most of Deathly Hallows has to have at least one.

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Dibs!

Chapter One

Let The Battle Begin

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A blistering summer had come to Diagon Alley; heat shimmered off the cobblestone in sweltering waves. It was the kind of summer day where people did their shopping early in the morning because they knew it was going to be far too hot by mid day. The sort of day where, despite the heat, shop owners stubbornly kept their doors open…just in case.

Fred and George Weasley were the most stubborn shop keepers of them all, though it could be argued that after withstanding all of those explosions, a little bit of summer heat shouldn't bother them in the least. It was partly true; Fred and George didn't mind the heat much. They had always enjoyed the sun and so, instead of sitting inside the stuffy shop, they pulled a couple of loungers out and sat on the sidewalk out front.

"You know…" Fred took a deep drink from his glass of mint iced tea "We could close up and go see mum and dad; I bet they're all swimming out back in the pond."

"We could." George nodded.

Neither moved a muscle. The minutes ticked by, glasses drained, their bodies grew limp with heat induced grogginess. Then, the sound of whistling broke the silence. Far away at first, faint…so faint they didn't bother to open their eyes, but then it grew louder and they forced their eyes open to search out the source.

Two blocks down a woman skipped along the sidewalk, her sun bleached long blonde hair was pulled up with a baby blue ribbon into a high curly pony tail. She wore a short baby blue sundress and flat white espadrilles, the delicate ribbon wrapped over her toes, around her ankles and then up her calves…drawing their eyes up her shapely legs.

The girl herself was rather small, yet there was no mistaking the fact that she was no little girl; she, in fact, filled out the sundress quite well. As she moved onto the end of their block they realized that she was also quite pretty, and not just that…they knew this woman.

That wasn't exactly true, they had known the girl; the skinny girl with the odd eyes, stringy hair and weird beliefs. They hadn't seen Luna Lovegood in years … had never met the woman. The last time they had seen her was just after the war ended, she had only been sixteen then…she had to be about twenty-one now.

My how people changed.

Fred and George pushed up from their loungers in anticipation of greeting her as she passed. Luna was closer now, only a few doors down….close enough that they could see quite well the way her breasts jiggled with every skip…they tried desperately not to stare…pretty much a losing battle. Luna caught their eyes on her and she waved happily…for the first time they noticed her dimples and wondered if her smile had always been so sweet.

"Hello Fred, Hello George." Luna came to a stop in front of them, her breasts giving an entirely distracting final jiggle as she stopped on a dime. To their dismay, she pulled her arms behind her, crossing them behind her back and making them stick out.

"Hello." They chorused together…typical Fred and George.

Luna laughed. "I've always liked that, how you two sometimes spoke at the same time. Did you practice when you were kids?"

"No." Once again, they echoed together, causing Luna to laugh. It was a sweet tinkling sound, like the bells above their shop door.

Fred grinned a little. "We never practiced."

"Never had to." George completed the thought…something else they had never had to practice "Just came naturally."

"Would you like to join us?" Fred sat up and crossed his legs, making room on the end of his lounger.

Not to be outdone, George sat up as well. "Yes, plenty of space, just pick the one you like."

Fred shot him a nasty look while Luna settled herself on the end of George's lounger.

'_His was just the closest' _

"Could we offer you a drink?" George spoke hastily…he would love a minute alone with her…what better way then to send Fred inside.

"George would be happy to get you something." Fred finished, flashing George a look that warned him to not even try it.

"Oh, no thank you." Luna smiled "I'm on my way to Mr. Fortescue's for an Ice Cream cone. I love Ice Cream on a hot day…don't you?"

Both forced the mental image of how Luna might look while eating said cone away. It was far from proper and besides that, it might lead to certain embarrassing physical effects that would be hard to hide, considering they were wearing cut offs and tanks instead of their usual robes.

"Oh yes. Love Ice Cream." Once again, they spoke at the same time…Luna giggled.

"So, what have you been up to?" Fred shifted in his seat uncomfortably and picked up his glass of melting ice, resisting the urge to dump it in his lap.

"I just finished my last year of university." Luna smiled happily "Now I am helping my dad set up the new Quibbler office a couple of blocks down. "

George's mind, still a bit hazy over the whole ice cream thing, snapped to alertness. "Will you be working there too?"

"Mmm hmm." She nodded, making her pony tail brush over her shoulder. "I went to school for publishing. Dad is getting on in years so… you know, time for me to learn the business so I can take over in a couple of years when he is ready to retire. I spent the morning typing up an article on Blibering Humdingers. Dad thinks they might be quite abundant this summer… that would be good for the Gurdyroot farmers. "

Fred and George looked at one another…this upped the ante.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like something to drink?" Fred offered once again…determined to weasel out at least a minute alone with her.

"No thanks." She shook her head...George raised an eyebrow at his brother in warning. "But if you wouldn't mind…" She motioned towards George's glass of melting ice.

"Not at all." George smirked at Fred as he handed the glass over. Luna drained the inch of water from the bottom and then looked at the glass.

"Thank you. Oh, but now you have none. I'll be happy to refill it for you if you'll show me where."

Fred gave George a look that promised imminent death…or at least a very good chance that he would wake up with bright yellow hair the next day if he so much as thought about going inside alone with Luna.

"Not necessary!" Fred grinned and sat back in his chair, sure that George had been properly cowed. "So tell me Luna, does your boyfriend mind that you'll be spending so much time working this summer?"

"No, of course he doesn't." She smiled, her eyes dancing with humor. Fred and George felt their hearts drop somewhere in the vicinity of their bare feet. Figures…she had to be taken.

"Of course, he might care more if I had one."

The Ante tripled.

"No boyfriend? As pretty as you are?" he asked "There must have been boys lined up for blocks when you were at university."

"No, Derwent University is an all girls school." Luna giggled "Not many boys at an all girls school."

George was suddenly finding himself quite fond Dillys Derwent, former healer and one time Hogwarts Headmistress...even though she had lived long before his time.

"So Luna…" George began "I was wondering…"

Fred cut across him "If you would like a tour of the shop?"

George fixed his brother with a glare; all bets were off now…he could play just as dirty.

"I would love to, but…maybe some other time." She stood and smoothed down her skirt "I really must be going now; I told Dad I wouldn't be gone long."

Fred and George stood so quickly that they bumped into one another, nearly knocking each other back into their chairs. They wore twin blushes as they righted themselves, then both took a lovely slim hand and kissed it.

"It's been lovely chatting with you." Fred smiled _'Would have been lovelier without my bloody arse of brother present.' _

"Stop by again soon." George grinned _'When my bloody arse of a brother isn't around'_

"I will." Luna resumed her skip down the side walk, then looked over her shoulder for just a second to wave. "Bubye!"

She was barely out of ear shot when Fred and George turned to one another, their faces hard and determined.

"Dibs!" Once again…it was a duet.

"Dibs!" A perfect harmony.

"Dibs!"

Damn it.

"Flip you for it." Fred reached into his pocket.

George reached into his own pocket, coming out empty handed. "You're on. I don't have a coin, do you?"

"Nope." Fred pulled out his own empty hand. "Be right back."

Fred rounded the corner and stepped inside the cool dark shop. After waiting a moment for his eyes to adjust he waved his wand over the register and pulled out a galleon, then clicked the drawer closed.

But of course, by the time he reached the sidewalk…George was long gone. He arrived just in time to see George, whistling and flipping a coin as he walked, approach Luna where she sat at an outside table at Mr. Fortescue's.

Fred slid back into his lounger, letting his head fall back against the hot wood. He groaned as he watched his brother and Luna, George had just picked up her hand from where it sat between them on the table…and Luna wasn't pulling it away. Damn it.

"I am so bloody stupid." Fred muttered, totally annoyed at having been outsmarted by his younger-by-thirty-minutes brother.

The worst thing was that he couldn't be mad at George. First, he was the one who started fight dirty. Second, all was fair when it came to love, war and pretty girls, and finally…

George had done nothing more than he would have done.

If he wasn't so bloody damn stupid.

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Okay, this is where I beg you to click the little button that says review to tell me how much you love this! :P

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	2. All's Fair

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling

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So, this one won't leave me alone. The idea of writing a George and Fred competing for Luna post DH denial fic has exhilarated me to no end. No promises on updates…The Year After comes first.

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Dibs!

Chapter Two

All's Fair

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George grinned cockily as he watched Fred disappear around the corner and go into the shop. He pulled the galleon out of his pocket and flipped it high into the air...catching it deftly as it fell.

"George one, Fred Zero." He smirked and began to walk swiftly down the sidewalk, following Luna Lovegood to Mr. Fortescue's Ice Cream parlor. He knew he was playing dirty, but not any dirtier than his dear, older-by-thirty-minutes brother. Fred would have done exactly the same thing…if he had thought of it first.

With a deep sigh he came to a stop behind the pretty blonde where she had just taken a chair under a bright yellow and white umbrella. The humid breeze blew her curls gently across her shoulder blades and George thought he could have stood staring at the lovely curve of her back for hours…if he hadn't known that the view was much better on the other side.

"May I join you?" He swiftly skirted the table, taking a chair before giving her a chance to answer. She might say no after all.

"George!" Luna was surprised, but not displeased, to see him again so soon. "Long time no see." She dimpled at him from across the table…obviously enjoying her little joke.

"You made me hungry." His mind flooded again with the mental image of Luna eating an ice cream cone. He blushed a little, realizing he was about to witness the sight for real. "Thought I would watch…" He stopped, horrified at himself then quickly covered. "Get some for myself."

"That's lovely." Luna smiled at him, her eyes sparkling. "I don't mind the company, but…won't Fred mind that you left him alone with the shop?"

George struggled to keep a straight face; he was banking on his brother's annoyance. With any luck, by the time he and Luna parted company, he will have already secured a first date.

"Fred won't mind." George grinned, a hint of mischief glinted in his eyes; just over Luna's right shoulder he noticed that Fred now sat in his lounger wearing a nasty glare. He reached down and picked up her hand, knowing Fred was watching and knowing even more that it would irritate him.

"So Luna, I was wondering…"

"Can I get you two something?" George resisted the urge to face palm. Mr. Fortescue stood over them wearing his bleached white apron and a huge smile, his order pad in his hand.

"Oh yes!" Luna smiled up at him "I would like a double scoop pink bubblegum on a sugar cone please."

"Pink bubblegum for the lady, and for you George?"

George looked up resisting the urge to glare. It wasn't Mr. Fortescue's fault that he had been blessed by the God's of bad timing. "Fudge mint please."

"Be just a minute."

George watched him go and then turned back to Luna. "So, I was wondering if you would y lk t gg tt wth m?"

Luna lifted her eyebrows in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Wld y lk t gg tt wth m?"

"George?" Luna sat up, her face alive with excitement "Have you learned a new language?"

George swallowed hard, and then opened his mouth again. " W y lk...Wht th fck?"

"Oh!" Luna exclaimed. "That sounds a bit like the call of a mother Sugar Tusked Megalope! Have you been learning about them too?"

His hand over his mouth, George looked over Luna's right shoulder. Fred sat with a satisfied smirk on his face, his wand aimed at George. He waved, and then gave George the finger.

George narrowed his eyes at his brother and then grabbed the pad out of Mr. Fortescue's apron as he arrived with their ice cream. He scribbled a quick note, paid for both of their orders, and then left a confused looking Luna to eat her ice cream all alone. She watched him go and then picked up the note.

'_Sorry, have to run.'_

"He must have been late for his lesson." Luna shrugged her shoulders and smiled at Mr. Fortescue. "He's learning to speak to Sugar Tusked Megalope babies."

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Fred couldn't stop smirking as he stood at the sink the next morning brushing his teeth. The look on George's face the afternoon before had been absolutely priceless. Teach that little toe-rag to think he could pull one over on his older-by-thirty-minutes brother. Imagine…someone thinking they could outwit Fred Weasley! The smirk turned into a full out gloating grin while Fred rinsed out his toothbrush and reached for his comb. It wasn't over yet…yesterday had been about evening the score…today was all about pulling ahead, for good.

'_Fifteen minutes and it will be all over Georgie, you'll be eating my dust.' _

It just so happened that Fred had seen a flyer attached to a light post outside that morning when he went downstairs to pick up their copy of the daily prophet. Xenophilius was looking for advertisers and it just so happened he had been thinking about expanding their advertising…okay, maybe not. But they could always use more advertising and if it gave him a chance to be alone with Luna…all the better.

Besides, this was a door that swung both ways. He hadn't gotten mad at George for running off to see Luna the day before, so George had no right to get mad at him for doing the same thing. Okay…so maybe he _had_ hexed his brother so he couldn't use vowels when he spoke, but George was more than welcome to come and hex Fred back. That is, if he could find him…which he wouldn't, since he was still sound asleep and Fred had torn down every flier within a two block radius.

Fred laughed as he smoothed down the collar on his shirt. He was just too damned smart for George's own good. By the time George woke up, he would have a date with the lovely Luna Lovegood.

As quietly as possible Fred tip toed to the door, opened it and then closed it behind him…thankful that George could sleep through a monsoon. He considered for a moment locking George in…but then, someone had to open the shop. No sense in losing money when his plan was already perfect as it was. Outside of the shop at last, he stopped and put on his shoes…then went across the street to buy a bouquet of pink roses. He looked across the street to George's bedroom window; unable to resist laughing…even if the flower vendor looked at him like he was insane, then he turned and began down the side walk, whistling as he walked.

Unfortunately for Fred…he missed the swish of yellow as the bedroom curtains upstairs swung back into place. George jumped out of bed, quickly dressed and then made a dash for the door. By the time he made it to the side walk, Fred had only gained a two block lead on him. Leave it to Fred to be so cocky.

'_As if I'd really let you pull one over on me after what you did yesterday. ' _George's lips quirked up into a smirk. _'And you say you're the smarter twin Freddie…should have checked the door to see if I'd charmed it.' _

George grinned as he trailed his brother, sticking to the early morning shadows as much as possible to prevent being caught. Already he could taste the sweet, sweet victory of revenge.

He had the perfect charm in mind.

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A/N I likely won't be doing previews for this one since I really don't know where I am going to go with this. I want it to be light and fun, each chapter will probably lead right into the next just as this one did. Don't look for this to have long chapters, and if you're looking for angst, or some weird ending with the two sharing Luna or having a threesome…you've come to the wrong story. I am a PG-13 …one man-one woman kinda girl. IN fact, this story will have NO SEX in it. : P As for the ending…I don't know who will win yet. Do I go with tradition…or do I go with my weird side. Heck, I could have neither of them win. Maybe Neville will jump into the fray and sweep her off her feet. LOL *ducks rotten tomatoes* Hmmmm…

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	3. And The Battle Continues

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling

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Dibs!

Chapter Three

And the Battle Continues

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Fred whistled happily as he stopped and checked his hair in the reflection of a passing window. He looked around at the nearly empty streets of Diagon Alley…it was just a minute or two past eight am, still a bit too early for the streets to come to life, but late enough for the doors to be unlocked. He glanced across the street just in time to see a set of shades flip up, then a pretty blonde appeared and flipped the 'closed' sign to 'open.'

He turned, giving his appearance a final glance, then stepped across the street whistling as he looked around to be sure he hadn't been followed. But of course he wasn't…Fred was the elder of the twins, the better looking and of course…the smartest. Before he reached the door, he flipped his arm behind his back, hiding the bouquet of pink roses. He wanted them to be a surprise…it was a crucial part of wooing a young lady after all.

The door of the office in sight, he reached for the handle and pulled it open, surprised to hear…not the delicate tinkling of bells that most shopkeepers used…but a loud crashing gong. He jumped a little, looking up as he did so to locate the offending noise, sure enough a shiny brass gong sat suspended above the door. It was an unusual way to greet customers…but then, the Lovegoods had never been particularly average.

In fact, this was the strangest office he had ever seen.

One wall was covered in bright pink file cabinets, atop them was a collection of picture frames bearing past Quibbler covers. Front and center were pictures of Harry Potter that had held issues of famous articles given both before and after the war. A long teal counter ran the length of the room in front of the cabinets, the top of which was covered with current issues, order forms and an array of vividly painted cans and jars filled with brightly colored quills. Further down there was a display of various charms that did everything from warding off Nargles and Wrackspurts to attracting Blibering Humdingers and the extremely rare English Koffingpluff. All of these, Fred noticed, had been created by Luna herself.

It was at the counter that any remote resemblance of an office ended. By the windows there groupings of large squishy pillows in bright jewel colors that surrounded several tables. At each table, a small square candle sat waiting to be lit…something Fred assumed they only did in the late afternoon or evening.

"Oh, Hello!" Fred looked away from the pillows to find Luna standing in the doorway. Her hair was down today, curling around her back and shoulders in fluffy ringlets. She wore no shoes, deep emerald green Capri's and a white sleeveless shirt.

"Hello." Fred flashed Luna what he knew to be his most devastating smile and moved closer to the counter, the bouquet still hidden behind his back. "How are you today?"

"I'm wonderful," Luna seemed please by his appearance…that was a good sign. " it's a lovely day, isn't it?"

"Very much so." Fred stopped at the counter and took Luna's hand in his, bending low to kiss her fingers.

Luna giggled a little as he rose, "So, what brings you here today Fred?"

Fred looked up, a new appreciation growing for Luna Lovegood. Not many people could actually tell he and George apart, at least not many people who hadn't known them most of their lives. But then, Luna _had_ known them most of their lives. They had been neighbors at one time, grown up outside the same tiny village of Ottery St. Catchpole.

"Actually," Fred grinned hugely, his arm twitching in anticipation. "I came to bring you these." He pulled his arm from behind his back and waved the bouquet with a little flourish. Luna jumped back with a tiny muffled screech…somehow, that wasn't the reaction he was looking for.

"Err…thank you Fred, but…I'll have to pass." She inched away down the counter, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. "I'm afraid that's a bit too dangerous…even for me."

"Too dangerous…" Fred looked down at his hand. The previously pink bouquet of roses was now a deep green twisting vine of Devils Snare, it's vines reaching upwards towards him. "Ugh!" He dropped it on the ground, then began stomping the vines that reached for his feet.

"Ugh..ugh!" When each vine was a layer of pulp on the floor, he turned to Luna with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry…I must have grabbed the wrong…" and then, out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of red outside the shop window. Across the street, George was doubled over in laughter. He looked up at Fred with tear filled eyes and then bowed…raising his hand to flip the bird.

Fred glared for a moment longer, then turned back to Luna. "Luna, I'm very sorry. It was an accident." But Luna looked at him strangely, obviously wondering how someone could accidentally buy a class a forbidden plant. Fred flicked his wand over the mess he had made on the floor, taking a deep breath as the mutilated green goo vanished. A second later…Luna gasped as his pants vanished as well.

"Fred!" Luna jumped back in shock and covered her eyes "I …I think your vanishing spell went awry!"

"Merlin's sweating ball sack!" Fred pulled his shirt down to cover himself…he would have to have chosen this day to wear the boxers with the hot pink kisses all over them! "I…I think I best go now."

Fred pushed the door open and vanished into the morning sunlight. George was long gone…perhaps he had used a spell that was too strong after all. Well, that didn't change the fact that George had nearly killed them both with the Devils Snare. Fred waved his wand over his boxers, then sighed as his pants reappeared and turned towards home.

He was going to kill George when he got his hands on him.

George grinned while he watched Fred walk the four blocks then vanish into Weasley Wizard's Wheezes, then with a smirk, he walked around the side of the building and pushed open the door to the Quibbler office.

Luna looked up warily, afraid for a moment that Fred had returned…then she saw to her relief that it was George.

"Good morning George." She said brightly as she straightened a stack of order forms. "You just missed your brother."

"I did?" George picked her hand up from the counter and kissed the slim fingers. "Such a shame."

"He was acting a bit odd." She looked at him curiously, as if worried George might be about to break into a bit of oddness himself. "Maybe you should go and check in on him."

"Fred's a big boy." George grinned and leaned a hip on the counter, "He can take care of himself. Look, I brought you something."

Luna bit her lip while George pulled his arm from behind his back, but in his hand he held a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Oh George, they're lovely!" She smiled and took them from him. "How did you know sunflowers were my favorite flowers?"

"You wore one in your hair, at Bill and Fleur's wedding."

Luna smiled up at him, that had been such a long time ago…it was really sweet of him to remember.

"So Luna, I was wondering…would you fancy dinner with me tonight?"

"I think…" She brushed her finger over a sunflower, then put her hand over his on the counter. "I think I would really like that."

George smiled down and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear while out on the side walk, Fred looked through the window and lowered his wand.

George may have won this battle…but the war was far from over. He was still the oldest, the best looking and by far the most clever.


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